Saturday, September 20, 2014

31 Things you can freeze to save time and money.

I'm putting this here so I can easily find it later.

CHEESE: You can freeze blocks of cheese without it becoming crumbly if you let it thaw completely before putting it in the fridge. If you prefer to shred your cheese first, add a tablespoon or so of cornstarch or flour to the bag and shake it to prevent clumping when it thaws.

Another great idea…buy a big piece of Parmigiano Reggiano (the good stuff!!), grate in the food processor and put in a freezer bag. It keeps for months and all you have to do is open the bag and scoop out a couple of tablespoons when you need it.

HOMEMADE PANCAKES, WAFFLES, FRENCH TOAST: Make up a few batches over the weekend for quick “defrost and go” breakfasts during the week. Freeze on a cookie sheet, then toss them in a freezer bag. Reheat in microwave, toaster, or toaster oven. WAY better then frozen ones you buy in store!

FRUIT: When freezing fruit, it’s best to first freeze spread out on freezer or parchment paper on a cookie sheet, and then place in bags. Individual frozen pieces let you pull out just how much you need. Try keeping a “Smoothie Bag” in the freezer. Toss in extra apple wedges, peaches, pears, bananas, chunks of melon…any kind of fruit…and use in smoothies.

If you don’t like handling mushy bananas, just throw the bananas into the freezer with the skin on. Then when you need them for a recipe (banana bread anyone?), pull out what you need, microwave for a few seconds, then cut off the top and squeeze the insides into your mixing bowl!

RICE: Cook a big batch of rice, spread it on a cookie sheet on parchment paper and freeze. When the rice is frozen, just put in a freezer bag or containers and you have rice in a pinch! Great for BROWN rice which takes so long to cook! Use in casseroles, soups or fried rice.

PIES: Make apple pies in the fall to enjoy throughout the year. Bake them, freeze them in freezer bags wrapped in freezer paper then when you have a hankering for pie, take out of the freezer, remove wrapping, and place in oven for 2 hours at 200 degrees. You can also freeze SLICES after baking a whole pie.


CORN: An EASY way to freeze corn on the cob is to put the ears of corn, WITHOUT removing ANY silk or husk, straight into freezer. When you want to eat it, put it in microwave just the way you put it in the freezer and cook for 5 minutes on high for two ears or 4 minutes for one ear. The silk insulates and protects the corn while it cooks. Tastes like fresh-picked corn!

TOMATOES: Roast roma tomatoes in oven at a low temp (225 degrees) with garlic, fresh herbs, and a drizzle of olive oil for 4 to 5 hours. When cooled, transfer to freezer bags. Use them in chili or in your own tomato-based sauces.

PASTA: Whenever you make pasta, cook whole package. and freeze leftovers for later to add to soups and casseroles. Or freeze individual size portions in a baggie, making sure to squeeze out the air; get the bag as flat as possible. Reheat by running hot water over bag for a few minutes!

FLOUR AND OTHER GRAINS: Freezing flour and other types of grain for at least 3 days discourages uninvited “guests” from hatching. You can also store it in the freezer, just make sure to double wrap to avoid condensation and to keep it from picking up other freezer smells.

PESTO: Make (or buy) and freeze pesto in ice cube trays. Once frozen, pop it out and put in a freezer bag. Nice to have pesto whenever you want it.

MASHED POTATOES: Using an ice cream scoop, put even portions of mashed potatoes onto parchment-lined cookie sheet. Freeze until hard then transfer into a freezer bag. These will keep in the freezer for at least 2 months.

COOKIE DOUGH: Make a batch of cookie dough, scoop onto cookie sheets and freeze. When they are frozen solid. put them in freezer bags. When you NEED cookies, bake as few or as many as you NEED without lots of waste or guilt. Just add 1 to 2 minutes to the cook time. You can also make “slice-and-bake” cookie dough by shaping it into a cylinder, and freezing it wrapped in foil.

SOUPS AND CHILI: Cool leftover soup completely and transfer to a freezer-friendly container, leaving about 1 cup of empty space for expansion during freezing. The night before eating, move the container to the fridge to thaw safely and then reheat and serve.

BROTH AND STOCK: Keep a gallon bag in freezer and add any leftover veggie pieces, including onion peels, celery stalks, potato peels, etc. When you have enough, make vegetable stock. Keep another bag for pan drippings or sauces that are left after cooking chicken. This can be used to flavor soups.

SANDWICHES: When packing lunches for school/work, it’s a time-saver to pull a sandwich straight from the freezer. Just throw it into your lunch box/bag in the morning; it’s thawed by lunch time. It also helps keep meat cold. Peanut butter and jelly or honey, or deli meat and a slice of cheese work well. You can freeze butter or mustard but not mayo, lettuce, or tomato. Pack these separately or add in the morning.

You can also freeze breakfast sandwiches. Cook scrambled eggs and sausage/bacon in bulk, pile them onto biscuits or English muffins, wrap them individually and freeze. In the morning, grab out of the freezer, microwave, and enjoy.

POTATO CHIPS, CRACKERS, & PRETZELS: Stock up on chips, crackers, and pretzels when they're on sale and throw them in the freezer. FROZEN chips actually taste BETTER. Eat them straight from freezer; they are crisper and the flavors pop.

MILK: Ever wonder why plastic milk jugs have those circle indents on the side?? They are there to allow milk to expand while freezing! To use frozen milk, let thaw, and then SHAKE WELL before opening, to make sure any solids are remixed.
You can also freeze buttermilk. No more tossing out half a quart because you only needed a cup.

JUICE: Like milk, the only concern about freezing juice is leaving room for expansion. A good rule of thumb is to take out 8 ounces for every half gallon of juice. Stock up when it goes on sale or at a discount warehouse.

BREAD & BAKED GOODS: When your favorite bread is on sale, stock up; freeze it. Or when in a baking mood, make extras of your favorite baked goods and freeze them for later.

Tip for defrosting baked goods or breads: place them in your microwave overnight. It keeps them from drying out like they do on the counter.

BUTTER CREAM FROSTING: Freeze leftover frosting. When when you need to frost something, let it thaw in the fridge, then whip it up, and color/decorate as if it were just made.

TOMATO PASTE: Most recipes using tomato paste only call for one tablespoon out of the whole can. Then you’re left with an almost full OPEN can. What to do!? Put the rest in a sandwich bag, flatten it out in freezer, and when you need a tablespoon, just break off a piece and throw it into whatever you are cooking.

DICED VEGGIES: Dice onions, chili's, or bell peppers, then freeze flat in gallon freezer bags. As they are freezing, press “score lines” into the bags so you can break off as much or as little as you wish for recipes.

HOMEMADE & STORE_BOUGHT DOUGH: You can freeze all kinds of homemade dough – pizza dough, focaccia dough, pie crust – shaped in a ball and wrapped in Saran Wrap.
Or you can also freeze canned biscuits, crescent rolls, pizza dough, etc. right in the tube.

EGGS: Crack the eggs in a freezer bag, and freeze. Or crack eggs into an ice cube tray for cakes and cookies. Thaw out in refrigerator and use as you normally would.

SHREDDED CHICKEN: Cook a big batch and shred or when you get a rotisserie from the grocery store, shred the leftovers and put it in a bag.

LEMON/LIME JUICE & ZEST: Squeeze lemons and limes into ice cube trays, then pop them out after they have frozen and store in freezer bags. Now you have “fresh” lemon and lime juice whenever you need it. Don’t forget to ZEST the lemons/limes first and keep that in the freezer as well.

HERBS: Freeze fresh herbs in ice-cube trays with a little water or leftover stock to use for soups, stews, and casseroles later in the year.

MARINATED MEAT: Place meat in a freezer bag, pour in marinade and freeze. When you defrost it, it will be fully-marinated and ready to cook.

HOMEMADE CASSEROLES: When you are cooking a casseroles (lasagna, mac and cheese, enchiladas, etc), why not make 2 and FREEZE one for when unexpected company drops by or to use during a busy school/work week.
You can do this a couple of ways.
1. Freeze entire casserole by lining base of dish with freezer paper, add ingredients, then freeze it in the dish. When it’s frozen solid, remove from dish (easy to do thanks to the freezer paper), rewrap the food, and put back in the freezer. When you want the item for a meal, unwrap and place in the original dish to defrost and cook.
2. Bake casserole, let cool, and then cut into individual servings and freeze. Reheat in microwave!

FISH STICKS: Forget those tasteless sticks in the blue box. Buy fresh fish in quantity, cut it crosswise into fish ‘fingers,’ dip in egg, and dredge in flour and bread crumbs, then freeze laid out on a tray before transferring to freezer bags.


HAMBURGER: Pre-cook ground hamburger and portion it out for meals. When you need hamburger for shepherd’s pie, sloppy joes, tacos, or whatever, just pull it out of the freezer, add the seasoning, and microwave. Three minutes, or 1 minute and 30 seconds if it’s going to be baked and doesn’t need to be thawed all the way. For crock pot meals, like chili, just throw it in frozen.

Tuesday, September 9, 2014

My latest creations

I made these graphics to put on tshirts for Kaydee and then I managed to print two copies of only one of them. And I'm out of transfer paper. Dang, I think the second one is way cute, and of course it's not the one I printed.

Saturday, August 2, 2014

Revelations

The other night as I was refilling Kaydee's medication organizer, I had an incredible feeling of sadness come over me. I thought to myself, "this is not fair."

It's no secret that it's been another rough week with little miss Kaydee. We are in the middle of another medication change, and I know that she just needs time for her body to adjust. But still, there is only so much backtalk and screaming and breaking things that someone can take.

So as I was refilling the meds, I thought about how it wasn't fair to her to have to go through this. She's just a kid. She shouldn't have to struggle with things out of her control, with a body that is betraying her. She shouldn't have to take so many pills everyday. She shouldn't have to be a guinea pig while we try to figure it out. This morning at her swim lesson, I could see she was struggling. She was having her seizures. And I know to her teacher, it looked like Kaydee wasn't paying attention. So I informed her teacher, and Kaydee walked off and cried. She thought she was getting in trouble. I calmed Kaydee down and told her what I had noticed and that her teacher needed to know about the seizures. Her sad little face turned down and she said "I can't stop the seizures." That just breaks my heart. She has become more aware of how they are affecting her life. I hugged her and reassured her that she couldn't help it, and that is why she takes so much medicine, and we see different doctors and therapists. Knowing that it wasn't her fault cheered her up.

When I finished refilling the meds, I went upstairs and told Sal about how it wasn't fair. He told me something I already knew, yet had lost sight of. Kaydee is a strong girl. She has such a wonderful huge heart, and a desire to live and she does it enthusiastically. She bounces back, and fights back. She tries hard and never gives up - even when it's something like trying to avoid a chore.

Recently I was looking at t-shirts I'd like to get for her. I think this one is perfect: it says: I have epilepsy, It doesn't have me. I also really like one that says,  "I love electrical storms, except when they're happening in my brain.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

How is my summer going?

I think this should sum it up:



Friday, June 6, 2014

What have I been up to?

I'll tell you what I've been up to lately - a whole lot! If I told you, you'd need a nap.

Summer break is upon us, and I want to do more fun things with the kids this year. We've lived in Utah for 14 years now and there's still so much I haven't seen. There are TONS of things to do. I've been compiling a list and I know it's just the tip of the iceberg. I want to share it with you, because I think it's pretty dang good! (All links will open in a new window)

FREE ACTIVITIES

Salt Lake County
Church History Museum
Clark Planetarium
Fort Douglas Military Museum
The Gale Center of History and Culture
The Gilgal Sculpture Garden
Governor's Mansion Tours
International Peace Gardens
Taylorsville/Bennion Heritage Center
Memory Grove Park
Pioneer Memorial Museum
Salt Lake City Landmarks Tours
Historic South Temple Tour
Sandy Museum
Sweets Candy Factory Tour
Taffy Town Factory Tour
Temple Square
Utah State Capitol

Tooele County
Benson Grist Mill
Donner Reed Museum
Utah Museum of Fire Service History (Firefighters)
Iosepa
Mercur Ghost Town Cemetery
Ophir Ghost Town
Stansbury Island
Tooele Pioneer Museum
Tooele Valley Railroad Museum

Box Elder County
Box Elder Natural History Museum
World of Puppetry Museum

Utah County
BYU Museum of Art
BYU Museum of Paleontology
Monte L Bean Life Sciences Museum
Museum of Peoples and Cultures
Springville Museum of Art
Woodbury Art Museum

Weber County
Hill Aerospace Museum
Holy Trinity Abbey
Snowbasin Free Guided Tours

Various locations
Home Depot Workshops
Lowes Build and Grow Workshops
Barnes and Noble
Salt Lake County Library
Utah State Fair Read and Win

Hiking
Description of Draper Trails
Draper Trails Map
Sandy Trailhead Descriptions
Sandy Trails Map
Herriman Trail

Splash pads 
City Creek Center 
Mountain View Park (Cottonwood Heights) 
Founders Park (Daybreak) 
Gateway Fountains 
Liberty Park 
Magna Splash Pad 
Old Farm Park (Riverton) 
Willow Pond Park (Murray) 
Valley Fair Mall


Cheap Activities
Bowling
Cinemark Movie Clubhouse
Kids Movies at Megaplex


Tuesday, January 21, 2014

I have posted several updates about Kaydee on her GoFundMe page. You can find it here: http://www.gofundme.com/Helping-Kaydee

I will be posting more about what I am going through another time. Hopefully soon.  I don't pull out the laptop much anymore. I'm just so tired and so busy. I finally pulled it out tonight and now I can't remember all that I wanted to get done while I had it out. I'm sure I'll remember as soon as I go to bed. Getting this thing out and set up isn't all that fun anymore. The battery has almost no life to it, so it has to always be plugged in. The keyboard has lost a few keys, and then half of it doesn't even work, so I have a seperate keyboard to plug in. And then I like using a mouse better than a touchpad, so that gets hooked up too. But it's a good little computer and does it's job well - as long as the kids don't touch it. Which they all suddenly remember some homework they need to do when they see it out. Then they play games instead. And download stuff willy-nilly. And then I have to uninstall a bunch of stuff, and de-bug it, and run all kinds of scans and I'm never able to completely restore it to work like it did before their shenanigans. Sigh.

Friday, December 13, 2013

The latest endeavor

I will try to keep this on the shorter side. It's been a highly emotional week for me and I just don't feel like revisiting  the depth of all that emotion at the moment. I just have too much to catch up on to be sidelined by it again.

Kaydee's behavior is deteriorating. She's become quite mean to me and there's not much I can do to stop it. Most days, all I have to do is open my mouth to set her off and any intervention on my part just escalates the situation. It's wearing me down, so sometimes I do just let her go and try to remove myself from it. She a darn stubborn little thing.

The medication doesn't seem to be working like we want. She's having more and more seizures, and I know that all that activity in her brain has to be overwhelming her and her way of reacting is to lash out at me. One of the things she frequently tells me is that she hates me. The other kids had said it from time to time and I know they are just hurt and don't mean it, so I've never taken it to heart. I think that frustrated the other kids because it was not having the effect on me they were looking for. They quickly abandoned that tactic. So I am not hurt when Kaydee says it, and I certainly don't believe it. I have steeled myself against her verbal assaults, but sometimes they wear me down. It's no fun fighting with a 7 year old. It's no fun watching your baby suffer. It's no fun playing this whole stupid game. It's not fair.

I don't want to call the doctor again. I don't want to play the medication game. My child is not a guinea pig.  So after some research on Sal's part, we have decided to try neurofeedback. The only drawback is that insurance will not cover it. But we are committed to it, so we are trying to do what we can to make this happen. After meeting with the doctor yesterday, my expectations are a little more realistic, but even then, the outcome will be way better than our reality now. He told us of a girl very much like Kaydee that was having 12 absentia seizures every 15 minutes. after a course of treatment, she is not completely cured, but the seizures have been reduced to 4 an hour. Her quality of life has greatly improved. While Kaydee doesn't have that many seizures, it is affecting her quality of life, and has an effect on the rest of the family.

I already feel like I just about live in the van, but once treatment starts, it will be twice weekly trips up to University Hospital, 25 miles away. I've started listening to books on CD, so I'm just going to have to find a whole bunch more.

We've started a fundraising website to help with the costs. http://www.gofundme.com/Helping-Kaydee  Between weathering Kaydee's outburst and the donations and kind words from friends, I've been quite overwhelmed these past few days. I cry at the drop of a pin. I'd better take a box of tissues with me to the ward Christmas party tomorrow because there are just a lot of dang awesome people there.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Update on Kaydee

Just before school started, I got Kaydee back into her neuro for a medication change. The Keppra she was on turned her into a starving, raging beast. She was putting on weight like crazy from always eating, and turning this house upside down with her constant tantrums and hairtrigger temper.  I didn't realize it was a side effect of the medication until I was doing a little research about her increased appetite. The tantrums, I thought, were just part of her personality. So I called up for the appointment and told them I couldn't take the side effects anymore.

Because of her usual uncooperative nature in the morning, we were late getting out the door and we had to go all the way up to Salt Lake for her appointment at Primary's. I received my very first speeding ticket that morning. That's a dirty trick, setting up a speed trap at the bottom of a hill. And it made us so late for our appointment, we couldn't get in to see the doctor. But they had compassion on me, knowing where I was coming from and the whole ticket incident and they told me I could wait and they could squeeze us in if there was a cancellation. I was willing to give it an hour or two, and a very nice nurse updated me regularly on the progress. Then, an appointment was a no show - for another PA, so we jumped on it. We got the meds changed, and the one she prescribed only came in capsules, but we took our chances. Kaydee is so awesome about taking them. We haven't had to extract the meds into a liquid at all. And at her follow up appointment yesterday, the PA was very impressed that a 7 year old could swallow pills.

One cool think I have to say about Primary Children's Medical Center (soon to be Primary Children's Hospital) is all the things they have to entertain kids. I don't know if they do this in other departments, but you can often be waiting quite a while in Neurology, so they have lots of things for kids to do: video games, TV, books, toys, a play kitchen and a craft corner. And a volunteer comes in to do crafts with the kids. Lena was with us for the first appointment and she made a beaded keychain and decorated a small purse. Both girls decorated puppets and masks. Yesterday, Kaydee painted a pumpkin that now graces our coffee table for our fall decor.

Soon after that first appointment, I took our little charmer (all the medical staff are enchanted by Kaydee) to her pediatrician to talk about ADHD. Sal and I had come to the conclusion (separately) that maybe medication was the answer for her. She has so much to fight from within that directing her behavior is overwhelming (I think). I think we have found the answer. It's toned her down just a notch to where she can still bounce off the walls, but she is able to focus enough to be getting most to all of her schoolwork done. These last two weeks have just been excellent for her. It was not an immediate improvement, but she seems to be better able to reshape her classroom behavior and learn what is appropriate and what is not. She still has bad days, but they are becoming less frequent. That first week on the Ritalin was pretty rough for us both. The second day, I ended up staying with her for the first hour while she cried and cried. It was so unlike her and so heartbreaking. But her awesome teacher told me it was a normal reaction when beginning and it would pass. For a couple of weeks after that, she had a hard time with separation anxiety, which was not normal for her, but we've worked through it.

Also, in only the second week of school, her teacher approached me with the option to put her in a different specialized class. If you'll remember, she started 1st grade in a mainstream class, but it got to be so overwhelming for her and her behavior deteriorated to the point I was picking her up early  because she was so out of control. We all hated to move her to a different school - we became very attached to her teacher and therapists, and they were quite attached to her. But it was very clear she needed something they could not give her, so in the spring she moved to a school with an accommodated core class. She seemed to make a small improvement, but by the end of the year, I was picking her up early several times a week. Nothing changed much over the summer and she started this school year running, just like last year. When she didn't get what she wanted, she ran. And someone would have to follow her or chase after. So by the end of the first week, she was missing a third of the day of instruction because of the running and it was becoming a big problem because they just didn't have the staff to devote to her. The principal was the one following her through the halls most of the time.

During the second week of school she moved to yet another new school (her 7th since preschool) to an Academic Behavioral Support class. There are about 8 kids in the class and they all have behavioral issues. I have to hand it to the teacher. She has 8 different personalities with all their issues to teach and reshape, and I've spent some time in there and seen what she puts up with and I don't know how she stays so patient. I think I'm the parent that has spent the most time in there and half the kids talk to me like I'm just another classroom fixture. They're all cute kids. One of them seems to get just as excited as Kaydee when she has a good day and he excitedly tells me when I pick her up.

In this class, they earn points throughout the day - up to 100. Last week, she had 4 straight days of 100. We were so proud of her, but most of all, she was proud of herself. Her self-esteem has been boosted to where she has continued her good streak into this week. I was considering anything over 80 a really good day and her scores would vary so much - typically from 40-70, that this good streak has me elated. She is learning how to function in a classroom, but also, we are finally able to pinpoint what works for her and be consistent with it. I fully expect her to have some setback days. Just before her perfect week, she had some of her most horrible days, and I think I'm smart enough to know that things like this can't change so drastically in the blink of an eye. But it's ok. She is making progress and that is the whole point.

Yesterday was her follow-up appointment with neuro. I decided to treat her with a ride on TRAX (our light rail). I just wasn't looking forward to that drive all the way up there in rush hour and I wanted to avoid another speed trap. Plus, I thought Kaydee would really like it. And she did. Most of the hour long trip up there was full of her questions: "does he like trains? why did she get on the train? why he get off the train? why, why, why..." I think she was too worn out on the ride home to ask too many more.  I brought up Kaydee's staring spells with the PA. She'd had them before the big seizure (Kaydee calls it her "see-jury"), but we never thought much of it because they were so brief. After her change to the Zonisamide, I noticed they were becoming more frequent. But I never thought they were seizures because they only lasted 5-10 seconds and you can always pull her out of them with a tap on the shoulder or calling out to her. When she does this, her eyes half close with a blank stare and she looks like she's really tired and she stops what she's doing. They only happen a few times a week. The PA said they were seizures and we decided to up the dosage of her meds. And then it happened. I think everyone who goes to a doctor for a condition hopes the said condition manifests itself during the appointment so we don't look like fools for one, but also so the doctor can get a more accurate picture of what is going on. Kaydee had one of those seizures, and the PA saw it. And she saw how Kaydee snapped right out of it when I asked Kaydee what was going on. Then we upped the dosage a little more. So she's now taking  5 pills, but that is Kaydee's choice. She was given the option to take bigger and fewer pills, but she'd rather stick with the small ones and we are ok with letting her choose since she can swallow them so well. She certainly didn't get that from her mother (I still gag on pills. Thank goodness mine are tiny). Also, she has lost a couple of pounds since stopping the Keppra. Her clothes are now fitting again.

So that is how Kaydee is progressing.

As for me, I realized soon after quitting my job last May that I had pretty much been working since we moved to Utah. I have delivered newspapers, worked at a grocery store and a copy shop, was a leasing agent for an apartment complex and the big 9 year one - managed a storage facility. So I guess it was natural that I was taking an interest every time I saw a help wanted sign, then I would have to remind myself there was a reason I had quit the copy shop. I still have quite a bit of guilt for not being home when Kaydee had the seizure and that the other kids had to take care of her.  I hate that they were going through such a scary thing without a parent with them. On the train ride home yesterday, while Kaydee was quiet, I had some time to reflect and ponder. And I would look down at the little girl with her arms wrapped around mine, resting her head on me and know that staying home was exactly the right thing to do. Even though all the kids are at school full time, there is still much to take care of and appointments and activities to take children to and I'm glad I can do that for them. I'm glad that I had no other obligations to keep me from having that little adventure with Kaydee yesterday, and that I can be the one she gives a big hug and "I love you" to when I drop her off at her classroom. And to see her happy little face when she comes out of school and tells me how great her day was. And that I can talk to her teacher everyday.

And I thought about the interesting relationship that little girl and I have. We had quite a rough start. I don't think anyone really knows that I didn't want her. Deep down, I wasn't thrilled about being pregnant, and was horribly depressed the whole time. And I didn't bond with her like I did with the other kids. But I needed her and she needed me. And though bringing her into this world set me on a very dark path, I learned that it was one that had to be traveled to teach me what I needed to know about taking care of myself and preparing me to raise this special little spirit. I have learned forgiveness, acceptance, endurance and compassion. And I think I can say that I have successfully moved down that dark path and made it back to the light.

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Kaydee's Scary Weekend

Saturday started out as most other Saturdays around here lately: Sal and I both going to work, the kids at home. Kaydee was sitting on the couch eating cheerios when I came downstairs and I told her to take it to the kitchen. When I left, she locked the door behind me like I asked her to. I had no idea how drastically our day would change in the blink of an eye.

Since we don't have a home phone, Sal or I leave our cell phone with the kids when we both have to work and they aren't at school. Since he was already gone, I left mine. Seems like I wasn't at work that long when the kids started calling. They tend to call and tattle on each other.  This time, it was Lena telling me that Kaydee had vomited. No big deal. This is where all the phone calls start getting jumbled in my head. I remember the first time Lena had mentioned the staring. She said Kaydee was in bed, staring up. Now, Kaydee can be a nut like that. She likes to pretend she's dead sometimes. I figured this was one of those times. So I asked Lena if she was breathing and she said yes and I told her Kaydee was fine. But then more calls came and Lena was crying, and the reports of the drooling and the shaking started coming. I wasn't in panic mode at first, but I did try to call Sal to see if he could check on the kids. I think it was when I got the phone call from Lyndon that I knew it was time to do something. I told them to go get a certain neighbor to come look at Kaydee, but she wasn't home. Finally, I pulled the phone book out and called the front desk at Sal's work and told them it was an emergency. I told him what was going on and he rushed home ready to wring Kaydee's neck for messing around. I was stuck at work during this whole ordeal. I was the only one there, and while I could have called for backup to relieve me, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Sal was taking care of it and I knew she was in good hands.

I can't imagine what he felt when he walked into her bedroom and found her in the middle of a seizure. He's told me he was glad he was the one to find her and not me. He was glad to spare me of that. But on the other hand, I'm so sorry that the other 3 kids had to witness it. From talking to them, I know they were all scared to death, though the boys won't admit it. But I can see how much it has affected them by the tenderness they have shown towards her since. Sal gave her a blessing, held her for a minute, then picked her up and rushed to the ER with Nolan in tow to help. That's when I got the next call from Lena, telling me where they were headed. So now I was busy at work, with a heavy heart. I'm glad it was so busy that day. It kept me going, it kept me from breaking down. Though, when I got the call from Sal that they were putting her on a helicopter bound for Primary Children's, I did break down. Just so happened there was no one in the store at the moment so I could sob my heart out. But that was short lived as I heard someone walk through the door. I dried my eyes and took some deep breaths before I headed out to greet the customers and it remained busy for the next two hours.

It was a long drive home after work. I had told Lyndon and Lena they could go to friends' homes if they didn't want to be alone. So when I got home, the house was quiet. I went up to the girls room to look for any evidence for the reason this was happening. I saw Sal's anointing oil on the dresser and a pile of stuffed animals on Kaydee's bed. I asked Lena about that later. She was trying to comfort Kaydee. She thought Kaydee was going to die. I saw the washcloth on the dresser that Lena had put on Kaydee's forehead to cool her when she was burning up. I have some remarkable kids. They worked hard to help their sister. They put her to bed, they comforted her, they stayed by her side when they didn't know what was happening to her.

After gathering those two home, and finding out Aunt Melissa was coming to get them, I headed to the hospital. Just before I left, Sal sent me this picture:
I think my heart died a little. Who would have thought our perfectly healthy, energetic 7 year old that was completely fine when I had left her that morning would have a machine breathing for her a few hours later? This was so unfair. But by the time I got to Primary's,  the tube was removed. Our friends Lori and Peggy were there too. They had seen the updates on Facebook and came right up for support.

Sal took me to the PICU, where Kaydee was sleeping, still with the restraints on her wrists. She started waking soon after and had a hard time getting comfortable on her back. She's a side sleeper like her mom, So they removed one of the restraints and she turned over and went back to sleep. I stayed with her through the night as she became more aware during her wakeful periods. She really hated the IV in her arm and continually tried to take it out. The nurses tried splints, sleeves, and bandages to keep her from it but it wasn't really working. She finally settled down for the night, and at 1:30, I finally laid down too.
At 2:30am , the doctor came in and checked on her. It woke us both up. He told me that her chest x-ray showed a spot on her lung which could be tuberculosis. He didn't think she really had it, but protocol said she had to be in isolation. I called Sal and cried. I was so tired and worried for our baby girl. In the middle of the night, we moved to the CMU (Children's Medical Unit). All medical staff that came into our room there had to wear a mask. It made it hard to identify the various doctors that came in over the next 2 days. Once we were settled into the room, I finally tried to get some sleep again. It was 6:30am at that point and rounds would be starting soon.

Sunday was pretty much a blur. She slept a good part of the day. We talked to doctors and I was asked repeatedly about the seizure she had which was hard to give them a clear answer on since I wasn't there to see it. I had her call Daddy in the morning. I could tell he was surprised and elated to hear her voice.

While in the PICU, she did manage to disconnect the extension tube on her IV. I noticed something dripping on her as the nurse and I tried to stop her from going at her arm. We tried telling Kaydee over and over that the straw in her arm was giving her medicine (it was only saline at this point, but she needed it). In her groggy way, she told the nurse (AJ) to take it out. AJ told her it needed to be there, but we could move it to her foot if she wanted. Kaydee said no to that. So AJ asked her where she wanted the IV and Kaydee said "in the garbage." Amazing how quick her wit could be when she was only half-conscious. In the end, all the wiggling KD had done stopped the IV from working in her arm, and they ended up putting it in her foot. Shortly after arriving in the CMU, they discovered the line in her foot had clotted, so she ended up with the second line in her foot only an hour after the first one.

Because of the seizure, they had to keep an IV line in her though it was disconnected on Sunday morning after KD was able to get up and go to the bathroom. Since she was able to drink fluids, there was no need for the saline. She pretty much left the foot line alone all day. In the early evening, I went home to get some clean clothes and have dinner with the family. I was gone for about 2 hours. We left right after Kaydee inhaled a plate of chicken nuggets. She was one hungry girl. I worried that she would bug the nurses by repeatedly pushing the call button. Earlier in the day, while I had gone out for a stroll, she had decided to take a trip to the bathroom by herself. She ripped the sensors off her abdomen and climbed out of bed. I just happened to walk in when she was getting back in bed. This was a big no-no since she was still rather wobbly. So she got a good talking to about calling the nurse if she needed to get out of bed again and no one was there.

When I arrived back at the hospital, she was just waking from a nap. Shift change happened while I was gone, so no one could tell me what she'd been up to, except that she had pulled the IV from her foot and they had to put one in her hand. Little stinker. She was happy to see me and gave me the sweetest sleepy smiles. With no room changes or updates to do that night, I was looking forward to a good night's sleep. I got about 7 hours before the phlebotomist came in at 5. Kaydee woke up too and watched his draw blood from her arm. She didn't even flinch. What a brave girl. But then he had to come back soon after because it wasn't enough blood and wouldn't you know it, her arm was done giving blood. She was asleep again, but she did make faces while he took it from her hand. My poor little pincushion. About an hour later, she woke up and I saw the light in her eyes again.


She was back to her old self again Monday morning, if a little more tired than usual. But we played and laughed, and she got restless and wanted to go for a walk. She couldn't leave the room because of the isolation. That sucked. The neurology team wanted to put her on medication to prevent more seizures, but we still had no answer as to why she'd had the one, nor any reason to believe she would have another. The one she had was a long one - more than 30 minutes. Status epilepticus it says on her discharge papers. We wanted to wait to see what the EEG would say first. I was sure it was going to be normal. I also knew she didn't have TB. Everyone pretty much felt that.

Kaydee had a bunch of visitors on Monday. The Relief Society president stopped by. Then Kaydee had some very special visitors. She practically jumped off the bed into their arms. It was some of her teachers from her old school. She was being rather quiet and bashful around others that day, so she didn't say much to them, but I think the smile on her face says a ton. 

 I think she's being silly in this picture. She has a hard time not making goofy faces - just like her brother Nolan.
 Later in the day, her primary teacher brought some pictures the class had drawn for her. That was sweet of the kids.

Early in the afternoon, KD had the EEG. She was really tired, but had a hard time settling down. Then the sensors started bothering her and I had to keep pulling her hands away from her head. She cried - the only time she cried that whole 3 days. So I pulled her onto my lap and rocked her to sleep. I thought those days were long over, and I cherished it. Once she was sound asleep, I tucked her into bed and snuck out for a bite to eat.

A couple of hours after the EEG, the results were in. She has abnormal brain waves. The neurologist described it as electrical sparks constantly going off all over her brain. When her seizure threshold is low (for example, due to illness, injury or stress), the sparks will trigger a seizure. I'm not really sure why her threshold was low that Saturday morning. She hasn't been sick in a while, and she had a good night's sleep. If she had been injured, I'm sure she would have told me. She can be dramatic like that. So she is on medication now and has a rescue medication for a long seizure. The pharmacist told me she hopes I never have to use it. Me too. This may be a lifelong thing and it may not. I'm thinking not. But then maybe I'm just being hopeful. She's young. She could totally outgrow it! We will just keep seeing the neurologist in the meantime, and repeat the EEG's every couple of  years. If her brain waves even out, she can wean off the meds. Pray that will happen. I like to call it "busy brain." She is a busy girl, so it makes sense.

Through the course of this wild weekend, blessings came about. A couple of years ago, we started seeing doctors trying to figure out why she has developmental delays. Nothing was ever determined. They wanted to do a genetic screening, but the insurance refused to cover it, and it's a $2000 test. Now that she's had a hospital admittance because of a seizure, that test will be covered. If it hadn't happened to be the same neurologist we saw back then, who knows if this test would have been done this time. It will be a couple of months before we get the results. Hopefully they are in by the time we see the neurologist in June. The neurologist said that other patients with delays that have gone on this medication have shown improvement (with the delays) as a side effect of the meds. Also, I learned how strong, smart and compassionate our older 3 kids are. They really stepped up in a scary situation. I do not feel as nervous leaving them home alone now. They will know what to do if Kaydee ever has another seizure.

We want to thank everyone. There were so many helpers and so many prayers and good thoughts going up for us. Thank you to Melissa and Jordan for taking Lyndon and Lena. Thank you Lori for taking Nolan. Thank you everyone for the dinners this week. Thank you for the visits. Thank you PCMC for the excellent care. Kaydee couldn't have been in a better place. Thank you to the ones that checked up on us. And thank you everyone for the love.

Now it's back to life. It's hard not to treat Kaydee as more fragile. But she's no different than she was last week. I have to keep telling myself that.

Going home.








Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I Have A Talent

I wrote this a few days ago in my little notebook I keep in my purse since I wasn't near a computer when my mind started compiling this in my head.


Through my life, I have noticed that many of those blessed with talents - specifically playing the piano and/or organ - like to keep quiet about it. I admit that I used to be quiet about it too- not that I didn't want anyone to know, but because I am not one to toot my own horn. To me, it seemed rather pompous for me to speak up and  seem like I was saying "look at me. Look at how awesome I am."


I think most people don't want to admit it because they don't want to get stuck in a calling for years (for my non-LDS readers, a calling is a position we are asked to serve in church. We are called by the leaders and the Lord to serve.). Yes, that does tend to happen, but there are usually not a whole lot of people with the ability to serve that kind of calling. We have been in this ward for 12 years and I have been the Primary pianist for a combined total of 6 of those years. I have been the choir pianist for about 10 years, and a Relief Society pianist for about 1 year. I have also filled in where needed for all of those 12 years.


My attitude has changed in the last year or so. The Lord has gifted me with this talent. And He didn't do it so I could hide it. He did it so I could share it. His gift is a gift I can give to others. And I won't hide it anymore. In 2 months, we will move to a new ward and when I introduce myself, I will tell them that I play the piano (and organ). If I'm immediately called into Primary and am there for years, then so be it. Heavenly Father gave me this talent (and my family also played a big part in developing it) and this is how He wants me to use it. This is how He wants to use me to bless others.


This month I have been assigned to be the pianist for a branch in our stake. Just around the corner from my house is an apartment complex for those of retirement age and younger people with mobility issues. They are their own branch and hold their church services in their clubhouse. This year, they are without a pianist, so the stake is rotating this assignment among the wards. I'm assuming this is the first month by the expressions of gratitude I'm getting as soon as I walk in the door. They had the CD player ready to go last week as they have been using for the past 2 months. It has been a wonderful opportunity. They are so grateful to have me there. I love doing it, although I do have to miss most of my ward's meetings. I am so grateful to be able to serve them. But the gratitude really goes to Heavenly Father. It is because of Him I am able to serve these people. My talent is the candle spoken of in Matthew 5:15:  "Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house."


I am going to give that light to all that are in the house. I have a talent.

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

The blood draw

I finally remembered to get Kaydee up to PCMC for the blood draw. After we got home from the MRI, the doctor called and said she'd sent the order for the blood draw to the lab and it would be waiting for us at our convenience. So we headed up there in November expecting it to be there. Well, it wasn't. We waited and waited and the people in the lab looked and looked for it and called the doctor and the clinic with no results. I tried calling the doctor too and knew if I left a message, we could be waiting all day. I tried to get Kaydee to leave, but she was having too much fun with the toys in the waiting room. Then a tech came out and said "whoever you talked to, it worked." They had just got a call from the clinic. Funny thing is, I didn't speak with anyone. Then we waited another half hour for them to fax the order over.

We went back into the draw room and had Kaydee sit on my lap. He prepped her arm while a CLS (Child Life Specialist) talked to Kaydee. They are there to help kids through tough things like treatments and tests. And then the poke, followed by screaming. The CLS tried getting Kaydee's attention, but she was staring at the needle in her arm. The CLS started blowing bubbles and Kaydee turned to them and started giggling, then looked at her arm and screamed and back at the bubbles and giggled. Her head kept going back and forth like watching a tennis match with alternate screams and giggles. Funny girl. And then she was fine after they put the sparkly bandaid on her.

This blood draw was for a metabolic screening. I haven't heard any results yet, but I'm sure it takes awhile for this kind of test so I'm giving it time. Plus, they are probably not in the office this week, so we'll check with them after New Year's day.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

I don't even know what to title this

A week and a half ago, I was released as the RS president. People keep saying that they bet I'm relieved now. When I think about it, the people that say that have never served in this calling. I wouldn't say I was relieved, more like let down. I don't regret that I was released, but I am a little sad.

I found out about it a month before it happened. That was plenty of time for my feelings on this to swing back and forth between being ok with it and not wanting to give it up. But I always knew it was the right thing. The Spirit told me weeks before I was approached that it was coming. In fact, that morning I told my good friend and counselor Lori that it was coming soon. I just didn't expect it to be that afternoon.

I have described the last 2 1/2 years as often frustrating, sometimes heartbreaking, but overall rewarding. I've made a lot of friends, and met a lot of great people that I've had the opportunity to work with. This is a unique ward for sure, but it kept things interesting. I've also learned a great deal about myself and have noticed my own personal growth.

The beginning was really rough. I felt like I had been thrown to the wolves. At the same time I was called, the crap hit the fan, so to speak, with my best friend's life. Our friendship crumbled. Maybe I was the bad friend for cutting the final threads, but I couldn't live like that anymore. I had to make that difficult decision to protect my own fragile heart. Being that her family was in the ward put me closer to the situation than I would have been otherwise. Those first few months as RS president were filled with heartache and doubt in my own ability to fulfill the calling. People knew how close we were and for a year, I would get a physical ache in my chest when asked about her.

And then in the middle of that, I went back to school. What was I thinking? The first semester actually went fairly well. It was the next semester when it became too much. I had been serving roughly 9 months by then. I had sunk into a deep depression and it took it's toll. I failed both classes that semester. Some of the kids were struggling too, and I couldn't help but feel it was my fault. I just went through the motions during those months. I didn't really put much effort into anything. And as any mother can tell you, there are times when raising kids and keeping up house seems pointless. All the energy you put into it seems for naught. At the end of the day, the house is still a mess and the kids are still misbehaving and you are feeling so unappreciated. My calling was what kept me going those days. Serving my RS sisters kept me from throwing in the towel. It made me endure.

During my tenure, we had a few funerals to help with, some of those people having been close to my heart. I'm so grateful for my knowledge that families can be forever and death in this life is not the end. My friend and counselor, Diane, lost her husband during that time. And not long after that, she moved and I had the opportunity to get to know Liz, who replaced her as my counselor. She was one of the many, it seemed, to have a baby during my last few months as president. 6 babies in about 6 weeks. That's not something we've ever seen in this ward. True, when my girls were born, they were one of a few babies at the time, but there weren't that many and they were more spread out.

About a week and a half before I was released, I started having anxiety attacks at night. I'm sure those who really know me know that I am a pretty nosy person. I like knowing what's going on and being in the loop. I knew once I was released, I would no longer be in the loop. That was the hardest part for me. I was also afraid that the new president wouldn't understand our unique ward and try to do things that just wouldn't work. All these worries and fears that my overactive imagination made up were really getting to me. Then I had the opportunity to go a serve a family, and knowing that the new president knew this family better than I did and that she was going to need some training, I invited her to go with me. It was inspired. The anxiety disappeared after that. I knew everything was going to be ok, and I felt really good about the whole situation.

Last Sunday was my first time not sitting up front during opening exercises in Relief Society. I felt like I was visiting a different ward. I had been sitting up front with the presidency for 5 years: The first half as secretary, then counselor, and the last half as president. It was an amazing experience, but now it's time to let someone else learn and grown and have their own amazing experiences.